Thursday, November 29, 2018

Story: Dave and Vincent

The Dark Neighborhood and the Hill

There are many places around the city that I have explored. The one place that scares me to talk about is the dark neighborhood. It was the one place I have gotten lost and I hate talking about it. To tell about the good that came from the situation I must also tell the bad parts.

I was coming home from the park across town that I visit many times a week, only this time the street I always ride my bike on was closed. I don't know how I entered the neighborhood but when I reached the top of the hill, I saw the sun going down and the area was getting dark.

I started to get scared, I didn't know where I was or how to get home. I road around for hours. There were no street lights and nobody was out. I was starting to get tired and worried I would never make it home.

When I finally got the strength to turn around and go back the way I came, I ran into something very scary. There was a viscous guard dog in the road. Struck with fear, I stopped my bike and stared. I didn't know what to do. The beast would not let me pass but that was the only way I knew how to get home.

Sobbing, I turned around.

Dave meets Vincent

While I was turning around, the sun began to rise. And on the top of the hill, this time I saw a man.

"Sir, do you live her? Will you please help me get past the dog so I can go home."

He answered me: "I do not live here, I only pass by each day. You will not be able to get past the dog. You will have to take another route."

I answered him, "Will you show me the way? I have been wandering around for hours on end."

He answered me after he noticed I had been sobbing. "I will show you the way, but you must follow closely and quickly or I will be late."

Author's Note: My story is based off of the story of Dante and Virgil. In the original story a traveler gets lost, like in my story. He also runs into a beast but his is a viscous lion. Dante is lost in the woods and runs into Virgil, who then leads him out of the forest and to safety. 
Dave


2 comments:

  1. Hey Kaylee,

    Good story overall, I just noticed it felt a little abrupt with one or two grammatical errors. I think making it longer and taking a little time to read over it could help out a lot with those though. It was just little stuff like "her" instead of "here". Nothing crazy. Good luck on future stories!

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  2. Hi Kaylee, good job with this story. It was short and simple to follow. I think your author's note did a good job of connecting your more modern story to the folktale. The beginning of your story does a good job of drawing readers in because it begins by describing an ominous, unnamed neighborhood. Good job & good luck with the rest of the semester!

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